What People Don’t Tell You About Wedding Planning
A wedding is the one party where you’re both the host and the guest of honor. That’s the kind of pressure no one talks about when you first slip on that engagement ring. Sure, the proposal was magical, and Pinterest boards are brimming with inspiration, but the realities of wedding planning? They’re rarely Instagram-worthy. Coming from a Grand Rapids wedding planner, here’s what people don’t tell you about wedding planning.
What people don’t tell you about wedding planning, helpful advice from a Grand Rapids wedding planner and designer.
You’ll Need to Plan on Taking Time Off Work
Yes, even if you’re the queen (or king) of multitasking, wedding planning will require more than a few lunch breaks. Think about vendor meetings, venue walkthroughs, and catering tastings—not to mention handling last-minute emergencies. And while evenings and weekends are helpful, many vendors work standard business hours unless they are working on someone’s wedding day. That means you’ll likely need to take a few afternoons (or even full days) off work.
Pro Tip: Trying to balance PTO between taking time off for planning, wedding showers, the wedding, honeymoon, and vacation? A longer engagement with the wedding in a different calendar year can help you spread it out. Align your venue, planner and vendor appointments on the same day if you’re traveling to meet them. If you’re working with a wedding planner, they can help facilitate multiple appointments on week days and you can have a mini wedding planning getaway to your wedding destination. Efficient scheduling is your best friend.
Marriage Is a Right. Weddings Are a Luxury.
Here’s the hard truth: marriage is a right, but weddings, of any size, are a luxury. Yes, you deserve a beautiful day, but the point of a wedding is to celebrate your love and commitment, not to outdo the latest viral TikTok wedding trend. A truly unforgettable event focuses on the guest experience. It’s not the floral arch that people will rave about—it’s the warmth of your hospitality. That means thoughtful details like ensuring everyone has a comfortable seat, the drinks are cold, and the timeline flows smoothly. If you can afford a wedding planner, do it. Their expertise can make your day feel effortless.
Your guests won’t remember the cost of the centerpieces, but they’ll never forget how much fun they had. Embracing this mindset can be liberating. It allows you to prioritize what matters most and recognize that luxury isn’t about how much you spend,it’s about creating an experience for your wedding guests that’s free of worry and full of joy.
What does this mean for you? You can have a beautiful marriage, no matter how much you spend on your wedding, but if you’re going to throw a wedding celebration,that is a luxury that comes with a price tag. Focus on the guest experience before obsessing over extravagant details. People will remember how they felt,they’re less likely to recall whether your napkins were blush or dusty rose.
Summer lakeside wedding reception in Michigan.
Design Doesn’t Make a Wedding Unique
Let’s bust a common assumption: stunning design doesn’t make your wedding unique. A black-tie ballroom wedding in Grand Rapids is stunning, but what will make it unforgettable is how it reflects you and your partner.
To create a wedding that truly feels like yours, start with your story. Think about the moments, places, and things that have shaped your relationship. Share these details with your planner or designer, who can help you translate them into your event. For example, if you bonded over your love of music, consider hiring a live band or creating a playlist of songs that hold special meaning. Personalization doesn’t have to be elaborate,it just needs to be authentic. Lean on your wedding planner’s expertise to infuse these personal touches in ways that elevate, not overwhelm, your design. Unique doesn’t mean expensive, it means meaningful.
Family Dynamics Will Come Out
If you think your family is immune to wedding stress, think again. Weddings have a way of bringing out the best—and worst—in people. Whether it’s differing opinions on the guest list, clashing traditions, or unexpected drama, family dynamics are bound to surface.
The key? Preparation. Make a plan with your wedding planner and vendors to address potential conflicts. Whether it’s surprise plus ones or unplanned toasts - your professional wedding planner and vendor team can help make the day flow smoothly. One great strategy is creating a “wedding password”,a simple code word that ensures only authorized people can make changes to plans. This keeps well-meaning but overzealous relatives from accidentally derailing your vision.
“Affordable” Means Something Different to Everyone
One person’s “affordable” is another’s splurge. It’s crucial to define your budget early and communicate it clearly with vendors. When reaching out to potential wedding vendors, include your budget in your initial inquiry. For example, instead of saying you want “a mid-range photographer,” specify that your photography budget is $5,000.
This transparency helps vendors suggest services that fit your needs and saves you time in the long run. If a vendor’s pricing doesn’t align with your budget, thank them and move on. There’s someone out there who’s the perfect fit.
Pro Tip: Also avoid words or phrases like “budget-friendly”, “doesn’t cost an arm and a leg”, “reasonable”, etc. These are all also subjective.
Michigan wedding planner, Holden Michael Events and florist Rhiannon Bosse Celebrations at Michigan lakeside tented wedding.
Not All Advice Is Equal
Popular wedding advice websites, wedding vendor directories, and publications can be helpful, but they also can paint a skewed picture of the industry. These companies are first and foremost publication and technology companies - their information is driven by access to large amounts of data from across the country and around the world. They don’t have their thumb on the pulse of the local wedding market. The result? Costs are underrepresented, timelines feel overly simplistic, and you’ll see "budget-friendly" wedding articles alongside photos of real weddings that were anything but. It’s easy to feel like you’re failing when your real-life plans don’t match the glossy photos. So take that advice and inspiration with a grain of salt.
The solution? Trust local vendors and lean on their advice. They’re in the trenches daily and know the nuances of your region, whether it’s Michigan’s historic mansions or Chicago’s chic urban spaces. They’ve seen it all and can offer guidance rooted in experience, not just trends. A good vendor will help you focus on what truly matters and steer you away from distractions that don’t serve your day.
When you hire a wedding planner near Chicago or Grand Rapids, you’re not just hiring someone to manage logistics. You’re gaining access to a network of trusted professionals who’ve perfected their craft in your region. Trust them. They’ve seen it all, and they’re here to guide you.
Learn more about wedding planning services with Holden Michael Events!
It’s Okay to Break Tradition
Weddings come with a lot of expectations, but remember, it’s your day. Want to skip the bouquet toss? Do it. Prefer a brunch wedding instead of an evening affair? Go for it. Want to combine cultural traditions? We’re here for it. Traditions are lovely, but they’re not mandatory.
The best weddings are the ones that feel authentic to the couple. So, ditch the pressure to conform and focus on what brings you joy. Your guests will feel the love and authenticity, and that’s what truly matters.
Bride in a stars and stripes sequin second dress for July 4th summer lakeside wedding.
Enjoy the Process
Finally, don’t forget to enjoy the journey. It’s easy to get caught up in the checklist and lose sight of the bigger picture and the reason you’re doing all of this. Take time to celebrate the milestones, from finding your dream Grand Rapids wedding venue to saying “yes” to the dress. Remember, at the end of the day, you’re marrying your favorite person in the world and that’s what it’s all about.
Pro Tip: Schedule regular “no-wedding-talk” dates with your partner. Go back to your favorite coffee shop where you had your first date, find a new Chicago museum to explore, or have a spa day together. The key is to forget about wedding planning for a few hours and to stay connected and grounded.
Wedding planning is a whirlwind, but with the right mindset and strategies, it can be a beautiful, exciting experience. By focusing on what truly matters—your story, your guests, and your peace of mind—you’ll create a celebration that’s as meaningful as it is memorable. Schedule a consultation and start planning your dream wedding!
Photography Credit: Meghan Melia
We’re proud to support locally owned wedding venues and vendors including: The Felt Estate, Inn at Harbor Shores, La Joya Dulce, Ballroom at Windsor, The Bella Sera. If you’re a locally owned venue or vendor looking for a network of support for your small business, contact us.
